A Fly on the Wall

When my daughter was born I had a lot of questions and only a handful of girlfriends that could offer helpful advice. Many of my friends hadn’t yet had children while some others had children that were so far past the baby stage they couldn’t relate. I often found myself online searching for answers. I would inevitably end up on one of those “there is no wrong way to parent” sites. I’d sift through countless posts by mothers who were desperate to find other mothers with whom they could confide. Most were likely hoping for some words of wisdom as well. By the time I was finished searching for the concern of the day, I was confident that I wasn’t alone but I was nowhere closer to a remedy. I longed to be a fly on the wall. I wanted to be on a wall of one of those mothers who always seemed to be in perfect control and who looked as if they knew exactly what they were doing at all times. Since I knew I wasn't alone in my feelings, I began a new polling activity in our MOMS club. I wanted other mothers to know they weren't alone either.

Here are some of my favorite poll questions and results.

POLL QUESTION: Ever send your kid to bed with a wet head?
RESULTS and CHOICES
46.15% said NEVER!
7.69% said well maybe once a month when I am especially tired.
38.46% said yes often..BUT in my defense it is only slightly damp.
7.69% said yes, just about every night. They can't get sick from a wet head anyway...right?

Do you believe the responsibilities of caring for the children and home, all while taking into consideration who does the bread winning. are properly balanced between your husband and yourself?
RESULTS AND CHOICES
57% said Yes 50/50
43% said No. I believe that usually too many responsibilities fall to me.
0% said No. I believe that usually too many responsibilities fall to him.

How often do you skip your child's bath time?
RESULTS AND CHOICES
30% said Never
50% said A few times a month
10% said A couple of times a week
10% said I've lost count

Did your child receive what you consider to be too many presents for Christmas? Feel free to vote for each child.
RESULTS AND CHOICES
63% said Yes
37% said No

Is your house a total disaster right now? Remember your votes are anonymous!
RESULTS AND CHOICES
60% said Yes, it looks as though a tornado hit it.
6% said No, the house is super clean.
34% said Right now, the house is a clean I can live with, but would like to pick up before company.

When you bake something that contains raw eggs, do you let the kiddos lick the bowl clean?
RESULTS AND CHOICES
63% said Yes
36% said No

POLL QUESTION: Did you have an epidural?
RESULTS AND CHOICES
100% said YES
0% said NO

POLL QUESTION:
What help do you wish you could hire?
If you could only choose one!
RESULTS AND CHOICES
15.38% said an on-call babysitter
46.15% said a housekeeper
15.38% said a personal assistant
7.69% said a handyman
7.69% said a chef
7.69% said a chauffeur

POLL QUESTION:
Was your baby's dad in the room when he or she was born?
RESULTS AND CHOICES
100% said YES
0% said NO

Do you pay someone to clean your house?
RESULTS AND CHOICES
6% said Yes
94% said No

Did you suffer from postpartum depression? Remember, your answers are always anonymous.
RESULTS AND CHOICES
72% said Yes
28% said No

Some of the poll results were what I expected. Other results surprised me. Now that Baby Love is older and I am wiser, I know there is no such thing as a perfect mother. I know now that every stage our kids go through is new to them and to us mothers. I no longer feel the self-imposed pressure to immediately tune into my inborn mama instincts and pull the answer I need out of some God given crease in my brain. These days, I learn as I go.