Yesterday, we said good-bye to my Uncle Jerry Waits. Uncle Jerry has been in my memories ever since my memories began.
He had been sick for a while. About five years ago, he was 1 of 2 people in Etowah County that contracted West Nile Virus. While he eventually did overcome the disease, he never fully regained his strength. He still went to church regularly and even worked occasionally, but the disease had taken its toll. He also suffered from diabetes which made everything more complicated.
More recently, he found himself in and out of the hospital. When he fell and hit his head on the bed, my Aunt JoAnn made sure that he saw a doctor. From there it gets confusing. In fact, the whole thing is just a mess in my head. Uncle Jerry thought he was better, went to the church to resume his security duties, called his son-in-law to say he couldn’t manage, and that’s where they found him. Passed out there at the church. He was taken to the hospital where they took him into emergency surgery because of a blood clot on his brain. Afterward, he wasn't able to breath without aide. His brain function was limited. Damaged, they said. He never woke up. You know when someone has several things going wrong all at the same time, and one of them, though you aren’t fully sure which one, gets to be too much for them to handle? Well, that’s what happened with my Uncle Jerry. The doctor says it was the blood clot in his brain resulting from his fall. Some people in the family blame other medical issues. Either way he's gone, and he will be missed by many.
He and my Aunt JoAnn have been married for 3 quarters of their time on earth. I suspect she will be lost without him for a long time. He has two grown kids, both of whom married long ago, and four grandkids.
A person can’t think of Uncle Jerry and not think of oak hardwood floors, dark walnut secretaries, marble topped side tables, velvet covered chaises, refinished wainscoting, table lamps with teardrop shaped crystals, the New York Yankees, big antebellum homes, the Old South, and memorabilia from the Civil War, Spanish-American War, WWI, WWII, Korean War, and Vietnam. He was a collector. In fact, he was such a collector, he left the Waits Family one hell of an estate (‘scuse my French).
I would often bump into Uncle Jerry at estate sales in Gadsden. He would scoff (as politely as one can scoff) at the stuff I would spend my dollar and a half on. And it wasn’t because he couldn’t see the treasure behind the dust. It was because the treasures he sought, were not only valued by one quirky, junk loving, gypsy girl, but by most of the world. He spent his time polishing dusty historical relics. And in most cases, "polishing" meant stripping them down to bare wood and restoring them to their former grandeur. Things that thanks to him, will tell a story on a shelf or in a curio cabinet, rather than underneath the rubble of a caved in barn in the country or in the basement of a mildew covered house.
Last night I went by their house in the Mill Village to be with the family. I watched my Aunt Sara silently iron Uncle Jerry’s white button up into crisp, clean, cotton perfection, fit for his burial. Saw my Aunt JoAnn pilfer through her closet in search of something suitable for a funeral. Noticed how several family members hovered around their daughter, Kelly, while she worked out the details of her Dad’s obituary. Observed their son, Mark, sitting in his Dad’s old chair, trying to pull the memories of each last conversation Uncle Jerry had with every family member. Saw the kitchen covered up with food from friends, family, and neighbors. Spotted Aunt JoAnn’s dearest friends, Barbara and Gail sitting in a cane bottomed chairs ready to do whatever was needed, whenever it was needed. It all made me grateful to be home again. It is strange in such a sorrowful time to find happiness, but that’s exactly what I did. I found happiness in the familiar rhythm of it all. I think the way the family works together, even when no one knows exactly what to say or how to act, was comforting to everyone there, including Aunt JoAnn, who needs it most. Please pray for their family. They have some healing to do.
5 Comments
All of you are in my prayers. Laura told me about this last night. I know it is ironic to be 'happy' about being home, but my first thought was that I was glad you were back. I think it would be much harder for you to find closure and to comfort the rest of the family if you were still in AK. Your blog was a beautiful tribute to the situation, as hard as it is to deal with...I cried as I read it. My heart hurts for your Aunt JoAnn. Please let me know if there is anything at all that we can do!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for you loss. he sounds like an awesome man.
ReplyDeleteOh Hayley, I am so sorry. :( (Would have been on here sooner, but I had no laptop) Thank you for sharing one of your memories of your Uncle Jerry with us. He sounds like a lovely man.
ReplyDeleteYou came home from Alaska for a purpose, I truly believe that. Prayers to you and the family.
Thank ya'll. Very much.
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing this entry, sister. Those are some good memories. I've got so many great ones, too. I'll miss Uncle Jerry a lot. I'm praying for Aunt Jo Ann, Kelly, Mark, the grandkids, and all the family.
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